Most of us like to think we are confident. I question if this is really true, or do we just mask what we are lacking with the appearance of confidence that is, in fact, a lack there of? I guess to really get down to the brass tacks we must ask our selves, what, in fact, is true confidence? The word itself comes from a latin word that means to trust fully. Now the next question is, TRUST WHAT? The answer there, I think, is ourselves. We must trust ourselves to actually have confidence. Trust our decisions, our intentions, our actions, even our efforts. If you don’t trust yourself, you’ll never really have confidence. I think we can all work on our confidence. I looked at things I’ve used over the years to gain confidence in the things I’m passionate about from my early years as a gymnast, to stepping foot behind the chair to take my first whack at cutting and coloring a paying client’s hair to now in my professional career as a Network Marketer, leading teams of people. I’ve discovered a pattern and I’ve broken it down into 10 building blocks that we can each check back in on from time-to-time and continue to work on from here forward.
- Block 1: List your strengths, get to know them and be proud of them! You have to love your strengths. I think sometimes society makes us feel like we shouldn’t brag or boast about the things we are good at and the knowledge we have, so we kind of just let our strengths fall to the back burner. Your strengths are what will change the world, do not keep them locked up. Celebrate yours and the people around you. Be grateful for them. If this is hard for you ask one of your closest friends what they think your strengths are, it’ll give you a jump start.
- Block 2: Accept your limitations. No matter what it is that you are trying to gain confidence in, whether its your confidence in yourself, gaining it to get healthier, maybe more confident physically, anything really. You have to look at where you are trying to grow and own what may hold you back. At the beginning of my network marketing business, I had limited knowledge of the industry—it was a limitation. However, I did what I knew I accepted, that it was a limitation at first, I quickly realized everyone who also was doing network marketing had the same limitation at first. I also realized by putting one foot in front of the other and pressing forward would allow that limitation to get smaller and smaller. Know your limits, write them down and take action to overcome them. Use your strengths to outweigh the limitations.
- Block 3: Never “SHOULD” yourself. If you catch yourself saying “I should do this” or “I should do that” you are doubting yourself even blaming yourself. This will squish your confidence. Remember that doubt has killed more dreams than failure will. The moment should starts to come out, ACTION becomes your best friend. Action is your best friend in creating confidence.
- Block 4: Gain some perspective. When you have thoughts of doubt, which everyone does, period, ask yourself where those feelings are coming from? Most the time the feeling isn’t true, it’s usually due to a fear or lack of ACTION. Here we are, back to that action word. Speed of moving forward in action will usually pull you right out of negative thinking. NO STINKING THINKING!
- Block 5: Do something new. Get out of your comfort zone. Especially when gaining confidence as it’s related to business. Trying a new way to approach someone, picking up the phone and calling someone you’ve been afraid to call, going to see and present to someone who intimidates you, is an amazing way to build confidence! You’ll either succeed and be pumped or it won’t go as planned and you’ll LEARN something from the failure that will help you adjust for the next new thing you try. Knock me down 7 times, I’ll stand up 8—more ready than i was the time before!
- Block 6: Celebrate your wins! For real, guys! Make a goal, smash the goal, and clap for your own dang self! You have to be comfortable with the pride that comes with accomplishing goals big or small. If you are surrounded by people that aren’t celebrating your small and big goals, we may have another problem but thats for another blog post!
- Block 7: Affirmations and positive self talk. Happens to be my favorite confidence building block. In my opinion its also the most important. What you speak about you bring about. You need to sit down and write out positive affirmations on post it notes and put them everywhere, your bathroom mirror, the fridge, in your car, by the light switches and read them OUT LOUD, until the things you are speaking start to happen. You must be in control of your thoughts, this will help you catch your self when the negative talk starts to you can then refer to Block 4.
- Block 8: Accept compliments. As you start to gain confidence it will radiate into everything you do, the way you treat your family, they way you carry yourself, how you treat others and inevitably you will get compliments, learn to accept them. Also, learn to give them. Give and receive positive talk—spread the love everywhere!
- Block 9: Show others how to treat you. Think of the most confident person you know, I’d bet money they are compassionate yet firm. They don’t get walked on, but they also don’t walk on others. Treat people how you want to be treated and you’ll get treated how you want to be treated. Do unto others…you know the deal, now time to enforce it.
- Block 10: Be kind to you. If you wouldn’t say it to a friend don’t say it to yourself. Talk to yourself as good as you would to other people. Treat yourself from time to time, read some books, have alone time, practice these building blocks, and remember if you don’t love yourself first you’ll never have true confidence.
Comment below with an affirmation you use, or a win you’re celebrating and lets read the love around and boost each other’s confidence!